There is an Indian proverb that goes: “Jangal main mor nacha, kisne dekha”
Which more or less means: A peacock that dances in the woods is not seen.
Whether you are rich or poor:
Whether you are smart or dumb:
Whether you are an artist, an accountant, a store clerk, a company, a politician or even an ex-convict:
You have something beautiful to share with the world.
Come out of the thicket and show your feathers.
- Bryan
Please not me, not me, you cringe. A feeling of dread comes over you as your squinted eyes make out a knobby finger stretching towards you. You’ve been picked.
Glancing over your shoulder, first left, then right, you hope to see someone just behind you. Maybe someone else has been called.
At last, you offer a hopeful, “who, me?”, but you already know the answer.
Pocketing its finger, your conscience nods affirmative.
When everything is going wrong around you and it feels as if no one else notices…
You’ve been picked.
Stand up and do something about it.
- Bryan
Raise your hand if you’ve enjoyed the refreshing breath of air that accompanies setting your rucksack down in a new hostel.
Inevitably, the first thing you do is head to the shared computer room. Those with experience know that when a hostel advertises “free internet” it usually means that they have 3-4 computers, each of which have been around as many years. Also, don’t forget that these computers have been clicked, typed and spilled on essentially non-stop since the day they popped out of the box.
Somewhere in southern Kenya, between the lush hills of Nairobi and the infinitely flat plains of the Masai Mara, there is a road.
Like any other road in Africa, this one has character: stretches of smoothly paved asphalt are interrupted by segments that take after the unexpected knots and twists of the acacia tree.
The road takes you past corrugated tin roof villages and happy goat herding fields, past waving children and scattered men filling pot-holes with a deep red mud.
Thumping along to the rhythm of the Kenyan farmer’s hoe, my mind reaches a state of reflective peace. My eyes are pleased by the vibrant African colors, from the piercing blue sky to the rich orange and red checkered patterns of cloth folds. Read more »
Do you remember your first childhood sleepover? At some point, which seemed really late, but was probably only 1am, sleepovers always seemed to devolve into either ghost stories or games of truth or dare.
Clutching cans of soda and gorging yourself on popcorn you felt both afraid and a sense of excitement at the same time. Especially if your turn was next.
If you’ve ever gone camping and heard something rustling outside your tent late at night, you’ve probably felt that split second of raw, primal fear. What the freaaak is out there? But it was also kind of fun…the anticipation is exhilarating.
So why is it that in life people let the fear of being different or new stop them from taking on risks and enjoying it?
When there appears to be something at stake, any sense of danger or any chance of failure turns grown adults into deer. They stop in their tracks and stare at the headlights.
Take a risk; it could be fun. Deliver a presentation in front of 200 people. Choose a challenge over a stable (boring) job. Go all in.
If you let fear stop you in place, you might as well get run over.
Suddenly realizing that we would miss the turn off from Canal Road, my driver changed gears, floored the gas and weaved through an onslaught of honking rickshaws and belligerent cars. It was a near-heart attack inducing episode of Pakistani bravery and insanity blended together.
Deeply engaged in telling me the story of his family and his poverty, the driver had lost focus on where he was going. Asif is a very poor man; he came from a village 200KMs away from Lahore to find work. He has two children to support and he’s very proud that he’s able to send them to school with his $4/day salary. And yet, he struggles to make ends meet.
Just before our life or death test of rickshaw braking capabilities, Asif was trying to find the right mix of English and Urdu to tell me how his landlord was forcing him to move out and find a new place.
He said “I have very much tension.”
As we skidded to a stop on the exit ramp, I couldn’t help but feel the same way.
Paused in traffic, Asif jumped to action. There was a poor crippled man on the side of the road. Eagerly scrounging up all of the money he had on himself—about $0.50—Asif got out of the car and handed it over with a smile and “May Allah protect you”.
My heart rate went from 200 beats per minute to zero. Living in Pakistan is at once exhilarating and sentimental. I still have much to learn.
For those of you reading this back in America, this is a lesson that you never have too little to share.
Perhaps more importantly, this is a valuable reminder that Islam is not a terrorist’s religion.
When you have nothing, give away half.
- Bryan
The grumble culture is dangerous, particularly when the griping settles on a target. Your group’s psyche can be destroyed and enter a downward spiral to deeper and deeper depths of negativity. This is especially true when the target knows not of the griping and the gripers have failed to communicate their needs/wants to the target.
You might be a division complaining about your boss, or a team commiserating over their coach, or a country lamenting about your president. Large or small, you are probably part of a grumbling group. So, what to do? Read more »
Humans have a tendency to complain as groups, and cheer as individuals. It feels good to let off some steam by complaining to a crowd. Groups can adopt a grumble culture, whereas one on one relationships can’t sustain a steady stream of complaints. It gets old. Fast.
The grumble culture is so counterproductive, and yet it is sadistically attractive.
Throughout my life, I’ve found myself to be a part of these groups. Perhaps my favorite example is my high school class; by sophomore year we had voted to make our class ‘spirit day’ color black. Read more »
Last week, I wrote my Sunday Morning Coffee on thinking while speaking.
Improv is an art; it involves reading and communicating with others beyond just hearing the words they say.
Whether you’re a teacher in a classroom, a manager or even an employee speaking to her boss, here are five steps to dual processing conversations:
1. Empathize:
Put yourself in their shoes. I know you practiced playing make-believe as a kid…now try it as an adult.
Pretend you are them: What is your point of view? What do you want out this conversation? What are you most interested in? Read more »
Conventional wisdom says that you should think, then speak. Well, the inevitable has happened— ‘conventional’ has become outdated.
In today’s interconnected world, leaders need to master a variety of scenarios that just can’t be planned ahead of time.
A commander needs to motivate troops. An entrepreneur needs to persuade investors. A manager needs to coach employees. A salesperson needs to inspire customers. A CEO needs to communicate a corporate mission.
Leadership is improv. And any good improvisationalist knows that they can’t stop to think—they must react instantly.
Stop thinking before you speak and start thinking while you speak.
Today are you going to be a commander or a salesperson?
You never know, so I guess you’ll just have to make it up.
- Bryan
17 May 2012: POP & Social Media
14 May 2012: A humbling second chance for SKS
13 May 2012: Sunday Morning Coffee: Matchups
10 May 2012: Build Off Your Weaknesses
